We were creatures of habit

strong habits with strong addictions

 

We met

using our addictions to our advantage

and it should have been the first sign of failure

 

It isn’t right to meet someone

knowing the way you met them

will be the way you destruct them

 

As every weekend approached

our addictions grew closer to each other

but drew us farther apart

without us realizing it 

 

You were addicted to temporary happiness

the temporary happiness of money

finding money in a place that didn’t 

necessarily make you happy

the temporary happiness of substances

substances you took to be mistakingly happy

but not to live properly in the moment

temporary happiness in woman

woman you rushed to love

and loved to let go

assuming you knew their inner happiness

because you were only addicted to the initial rush

 

And I was addicted to curiosity and learning

curiosity behind traveling to new places

and meeting new people

people who would show me worlds 

that I had never seen before

and I so easily fell in love with

I was addicted to learning about other people

the way their minds thought

and their bodies moved

and the inner workings of their hearts

what their passions were and what they loved to do

which sometimes meant me

 

and sometimes I wonder,

if we had known this all along,

would things be different

if we learned how to fully love someone?

if we learned to enjoy small moments?

if we learned to slow time briefly?

 

if we learned to control our addictions?

 

But we rushed so quickly 

and so rashly 

out of our addiction to each other

that it felt like just a breath in time

 

and sometimes, 

a breath is all it takes

for a moment to disappear

and for us to pick up the pieces

before we can clear our heads

and let our addictions continue again.

 

This piece has been published on Thought Catalog. You can view the published version here

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