The Speed of Us on the California Freeways

I never loved driving as much as I did until I met you.


We would spent nights in the Hills

Hollywood Hills

driving through the unsafe winding roads 

until we reached the end and decided to 

change course onto the freeway


It was free, the moments on the road

We would reminisce about college

and you would remind me of all of the 

achievements I had accomplished that made you happy

and I would remind you of all of the times you made me happy


But you wouldn’t respond, and you would blare your

tropical house music louder in your car

and you would speed an additional fifteen miles over 

the speed limit

just to feel the danger of what it was once like

to be with me 

when I was younger

and you were so naive about us


Each time in your car

we would talk about the times apart

what had taken our time in the previous months

who had taken our hearts in the previous weeks

some would say it was catching up

but it was like saying hello again

because every time we drove the California freeway

in your car

it was like being home again


and each time, we would return to the top of the hills

looking at the glow of the architecturally astounding houses

and the hills would remind me of how much can change in just a few years

because years ago, we would look over snow-top covered hills

as we looked over the warm, Californian hills, comparing our lives

to what they had once been 

when we would see each other everyday

I realized our lives together only made sense in your car


and now, sometimes I speed in my car

to see if I can gain that feeling back

and I play the same topical house song that was playing

the night we met

but it’s not the same

and neither are we

but I still like driving at the same speed, 

a different city

because I like to be reminded of you. 


This piece has been published on Thought Catalog. You can view the published version here

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