I Like to Leave Because I Don't Know How to Stay

I am not one to stay in a certain place for too long

I have a residence, but it is another bill every month,

it is not a home


I am always on the next flight out 

to anywhere

because I am so over trying to build a singular life

that I make airports my home and hotels my resting space

creating lives for myself wherever I may land


there’s comfort in knowing that in a few days or a few weeks, 

I’ll be on the next plane, train, bus

or my eye will be caught by something that glitters just as

much as the gold before it


there’s some comfort in knowing that

no one really knows anything about me, and they won’t ever really have a chance to

because I won’t be around for long

but I will always return at some point in life,

and pick up where things left off.


And maybe this comfort is brought on by the fact that 

it’s easier to let people go than it is to let

people close

it is easier to mend a broken heart

than it is to let someone else help repair the

broken pieces. 

it’s easier to be independent than

it is to find dependence


I like the idea of a see you again 

rather than a forever goodbye

because if i don’t stay long enough,

I will never have to endure the emotions of a goodbye


so I like to make an exit because I’m not quite sure how to build a home and

I like to leave because I was never taught how to stay


his piece has been published on Thought Catalog. You can view the published version here

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